I woke up this morning feeling like crap which is normal but in a good mood, which is rare. I'm so looking forward to this birth, okay not the labor but those moments after the baby comes and holding and kissing him.
And now my energy seems up which is strange because I haven't eaten I have no urge to eat, the urge to eat is usually just nausea on the brink of sickness.
In more good news, the baby has a middle name and his initials will be ARG, I'm so happy that this is finally done! I feel like his father and I trully picked the names together this time, he agreed on the first name and then picked out the middle name himself. I wish I had a man who actually wanted to share this whole making a family thing with. We just have different ideas of family, I need mine and he doesn't. I just couldn't take being with him the rest of my life and being controlled by him and his worthless opinions. It's so funny that I have managed to live most of my life without his criticism but now he thinks that I need him. Oops no!
I think his father held off picking a name in hopes that I would change my mind and let him attend the birth, never ever will that happen.
I just took a walk, which I never do and took my castor oil afterwards. I'm hoping it will work this time. I have to say that chilling the castor oil actually didn't do anything for me, I almost gagged. So I'll take it out before I take it again. I don't mind the whole running to the bathroom thing. I went to the bathroom last night so all I've got is liquid in my system.
I'd love to do this under a doctor's supervision but of course they want a hellish amount of to go see them again. I can't afford it, bills are just too high.
Unfortunately I've applied for a credit card and I'm hoping that I can get enough credit to put all my bills on it and then I can just pay it off slowly. I'm willing to combine the baby bills and the one regular credit card I have and just stop with that.
I just wish I could get more clients and just get my financial future together. I could be really well off for the next few years if I can just get it together.
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