Since my last in...

Six flags trip was bearable, I had no problem traveling with my ex and the baby R. We stayed at a very nice hotel that he paid for with his Visa credits and it had two tv's so the guys stayed up and mommy slept. I willed myself to walk all day at Six Flags and sit down rarely. I think I did fairly well, I was exhausted but no complaining, who would I have complained to? My ex did complain about his bad back and aching feet, no sympathy from me that's for sure.

On the insurance front had 2 more meetings with my car dealership deal and we managed to keep the waivers to a minimum. My boss is awesome, she has such a great sense with people. $20,000 in premium a month and a slight boost for me.
The final waivers will be faxed in today by end of business.

On another level the gentlemen S who occupies an office next to mine has recenetly gone independent previously he's been captive with large companies but with escalating car and home rates he's had trouble keeping policies in force. So he is in the process of moving his book of business over to us. I assume he's getting the same deal I am from what I can glean from the bad acoutics of this office. He believes in the low hanging fruit of our office and he's even got me almost motivated to start cold calling them. But only time will tell cause we all know I'm a little hard to convince that our current business isn't dead. My feeling has been with the few limited calls I've made that the book is full of tired, almost out of the business folks. So let me sell you another policy but at the same time if I take the group and individual approach I might be able to do better. Also now I don't need to be hand held thru the whole process. I can do a health or dental deal a lot faster. Confidence is a big deal for me, and I still don't know enough about the taxes angle of the whole deal to speak about that.

My birthday is tomorrow and in the am early, I'm going to do my diabetes test. I'm experiencing some of the sympotoms of gestational diabetes. I'm postive that this will be my last pregnancy, unless I can afford to have some lady in India to do it for me. I'm worried. I hate needles and I know I'd be completely unable to do it without some help.

On the more personal note my ex was served with child support papers yesterday, I assume. I did warn him during our Six Flags trip, which he resents highly. I did leave him an email Thursday of last week after he called me and let me know that Sheriff's had been to his employer to serve him. He also stated that he didn't know how he was gonna tell me that he might get drug back to Arizona for something he didn't do. He sent me a long email explaining why he listed as a father of a kid that isn't his.
He's sent me several erratic emails telling me that he's going to be homeless because of me and that he's going to take Rowen away from me. I truly wonder if I was drugged when I fell in love with him. He has managed to completely separate his love for his son and his love for himself and money. Whatever!

Pure Insurance

As for the insurance front, I'm working a few deals.

One is my local car dealership, I'm waiting right now for the final sign off on rates and conditions.
After an intital great quote, the group ended up with a less than great quote due to a high rate of smokers and people who should be in the hospitial. If it wasn't for the fact that guarantee issue is mandatory for groups of 2-50 we'd be in a further world of hurt.
So today I need them to sign one final (haahaha) piece of paper and we should receive the cards by Friday.

My other deal is in Idaho, same car dealership, due to the hatred of our local group I made this group fill out medical forms before I'd show them the quote or I promised to leave them where they are at. The most recent bill had about 20 people on the plan but when I did the medical there were more like 34 with 4 waivers of coverage. The insurer pays about $29 per month per employee in commission so it really doesn't matter how many families or kids it's all about the employees. In the end it's around 10%, health insurance commission is crap by the way.
So this morning I received more missing info they requested so far thank god, no med records. I faxed it to Idaho, who have great response time and I'm hoping to get the info by the end of the week.

Another deal is our local and little 2 man group with an HSA plan, they are looking at $5000 deduct. It's a pretty cheap plan at just under $200 per employee per month, 8% commission but in the end it's worth it.
I followed up this morning, left a message, I'm hoping to have it in place by 5/1/2008.

Last one is an individual plan for a lady and her daughters, the husbands group emp plan too expensive and she wants to pay a decent rate. She was rejected earlier this month by Aetna, they said she had a bad combo of meds, one anxiety and one for insomnia. So were with Assurant now and I their process takes a little longer I find. But so far, I quoted her a standard rate and the fingers are crossed, I'm looking at a health policy at $300-$400 per month with a 20% commission. It all adds up.
I received an email from them yesterday asking her to call so that they can followup with some questions. I'll follow up with her tomorrow.

I see nothing coming in past that, I've got to start selling personal lines, looks like. But with S joining and probably getting the same deal as me, good luck in getting some one on one time to get me setup with the systems I need to quote properly.

To Six Flags or not to Six Flags...

That is the question, whether it is nobler to suffer the walking and constant hunger or to spend time with the love of my life. The jury is still out.

I received an offer from my former beloved to go with him and my son this weekend to our nearby Six Flags. Don't get me wrong, I know that my company and presence is not desired only my ability to watch the stroller and change diapers. But I suppose if I'm gonna make it out of this town before the birth of the baby this is my last chance.
I want to go to watch my kid have the time of his life. But my mood swings, constant hunger and constant fatigue would be like asking a granny to participate in a marathon. It's possible but she might die after.
Again no clear decision. My mother thinks I should go if only to keep an eye on him. She doesn't realize of course that the one eye is probably all he would get.

Also my former b-friend informed me that he will no longer be able to shuttle our son around in his work vehicle, he claims someone got wind of the car seat in his front seat and he was asked to sign a doc telling him that vans are for professional use only. (Then why do they let him take it home each and every night?) He also said his truck is not long for this world the registration and insurance have lapsed. I told him to take my car whenever possible. Not out of state but in state is fine and he'll be very good with it I know.

The main issue between us is child support, he doesn't know that I filed against him. I've decided to go with the it will be a lot easier for him to pass me money line. At least he'll have proof and when discussing child support that judge will not discuss visitation. Basically if he wants to fight for visitation he'll do it on his own dime. I hate to admit it but if he can just pay me some money, continue loving my kid and pay for the next one, I'll be fine with that.
Who knows when they will serve him. I'm hoping it's soon I filed the first week of this month, and maybe in the 90ish days I'll have some support.
I wish all of this would cause him to get his life together. But I doubt that will ever happen.

Still unwell...

So, my unwellness continues, and sadly I think any future work I do will have to be curbed. In my last pregnancy by the third trimester I was pretty okay, just big and getting bigger. This time I'm still fighting my stomach, indigestion, nausea and sleeplessness. I feel like I'm an inferior human being. Most of this pregnancy has been spent in bed just trying to find a comfy spot. After spending an hour on the couch yesterday I think it's possible I'll be living there for my last few weeks of pregnancy. I've been so depressed and wishing that instead of giving birth that I was instead looking forward to the release of an evil alien bursting from my chest and giving me eternal rest. It's only gonna get worse from here.

As for my P&C exam, I don't want to talk about it, I was this close. Another $90 down the drain, someone please shoot me. I'll retake tomorrow to my dying shame.

Car dealership in Idaho!

The car dealership deal I am in the process of finishing has a division in Idaho and we received a good quote for them but after my problems with the local division I didn't want to present it until I had received a medical looky.
Lots of smokers, and a couple of other medical problems, we'll see if I can keep that great rate. My gut is saying maybe if I raise the deduct.

I still have not being feeling well and since speaking with my boss yesterday I'm having 50th thoughts about entering into an agreement that might tie me to this place every day.
The rub is that I am sick from morning sickness almost every day. I become so ill that it's almost impossible for me to be here before 10am and since I'm fairly quick about the things I do do I can almost guantree I'll be done in two hours.

I think what I will propose to her is that if she is going to have me here for hours on end I need more responsiblity. I need to learn the P&C side, hand me a few things teach me something. I'm much better when I have something in my hand to do.

As for my tattered lovelife, I assume what little civility there is between my boyfriend and I will be gone the moment he receives word that I'm seeking child support. His portion of R's birth alone is close to $5000 or more and then monthly maintance is staggering. But a part of me doesn't feel sorry for him in the least. I mean he's had yearssssssss to pull himself together and do something with his life and if he wasn't going to do it for himself what about his kids?
If I won the lottery tomorrow, I'd be able to afford him and my family and somehow I'd make it all work. But I don't play the lottery.
He needs to pull himself together and asking for child support is the best way to make that happen. I don't want back child support at this time, I just want some help no more than the 18% required. I seriously doubt I'll get any of the hospitial money back from him. It's not about that. It's about diapers and doctor's visits. I wish I could make him see that.
No word yet on his medical condition, either that or he's not telling me. If he became ill I know I'd take him in. It would cause a world of pain to my family but there is no way that I would allow the father of my kids to be homeless. I know that he would do it for me. I mean the love has to go somewhere doesn't it?

Car dealership deal!

The owner finally put his foot down today and offered a strict $2500 deduct with a $40 copay plan to his employees.
What does this mean? Well overall the employees will have to share in the burden of the healthcare costs to the tune of $30 per biweekly paycheck. I'm afraid we'll lose participation but for the most part I'm with the not caring. Ive cared for over 6 months and let me tell you that caring gets you nowhere except crushed and disappointed with the whole thing. They can't understand why (the employees) have been uprated and reminding them that medically they are scary and that all smoke has done no good.

I've also sent in an Assurant app for a lady who was rejected by Aetna. The rate is much higher but still a lot less than the $600 per month she has with the dreaded Anthem.

I should have a decent idea of how my money situation will be as of 5/1/08. I hope!

Two out of three...

I took my P&C test this morning, I again was up at ungodly hour to take the test. I threw up my breakfast before leaving and spent the entire time taking the test in agony. My stomach churned and churned and I ran to the bathroom.
I failed my first test not by much I must add and I always knew that I would have to take some portion again, I think I was lucky I got any of it passed I was so sick.

R is at his father's and my house is empty, I've called him and he calls out to me but that's all. I don't want to bug him and I will call him tonight. I know he will have a good time but it's so hard on me.

I'll call tomorrow and get a new test setup and I can barely wait. The nausea that I thought was over still has it's hold over me it's hard to fill my stomach when all you want to do is dump what's in it. I had no doctor appt in March due to the switch of doc's and now my appointment has been pushed to the 25 of April. I must discuss my leg pain and nausea with him. I'm so tired, still.
I'm taking today off from studying and I'll start a fresh again tomorrow.

Meeting cancelled...

When I arrived to work this morning, at a shocking hour I might add, I was informed my car dealership meeting had been cancelled. I called to rescheduled and was told by their HR that they didn't know when or if it would be rescheduled. PANIC!
This group is $20,000 a month in premium, hello my house payment!
So after talking with their GM, we had to send out another set of rates and plans. i hate them.
I'm to the point now of just sending them their current enrollment sheet and being done with them take it or leave it.
I just need to start working on new stuff.
I sent out two dentals, only one will I get credit for and the other is for our agency.
I also did my first group HSA, which was only two guys and the amount that they are going to end up paying is nada! I don't feel like going over every little thing with them today maybe Monday.
Can I scream now?
My son R is going with his father tonight, I'm too tired and worn out now to even worry about it. I know that he loves his Dad but as he's getting older I think he clings to me a little more.

And it keeps rolling along....

My top priority right now is to find a solution to my horrible financial situation and continue in a job that I love. I have to say that health insurance is a pain the rear but I always find beauty in complexity. I've always been like that. The only other time I found real love like this was with catering/banquets and bars. I could run a bar in my sleep.

Home:
Well, my nieces continue to grow, I will have two in college next year, I am so proud. M the oldest is a poli sci major with a pre-med mindset. My other niece A will be in graduating in 9 weeks, she's already 18 so we're urging her to stop being a kid and start being a grown up.
The girls were hired by one of my previous employers as a banquet servers at a casino. And M has an office job she works a few hours a week, she's always overwhelmed but we always give her the benefit of the doubt because her grades at college are pretty good. She knows she needs even better to get into our local medical school. I think she's amazing, but please don't tell her.
A is a little bit more mature socially and ethically but in most other areas she relys on her charm to get her in and out of most situations, not like a dumb blonde but like a future busines person. Each of the girls was in girl scouts and they were top cookie sellers in our area for years running my sister D ran cookie sales like a small business and they were beyond successful.

I spoke D my sister yesterday to figure out the financial mess and she is as always very encouraging. She was so sad because her assistence is drying up because of the girls jobs, I'm trying to convince her that she might need to lower her assistence and ask the girls to pony up more cash money. Who knows, she knows the system better than anyone.
I hate those conversations cause I feel like a failure, but at the same time I know that I do more than most for their family members.

Work:
My car dealership deal is fine until tomorrow when we have our meeting with the disgruntled sales staff. I think I'll kill them all now.

Decision day...

Lots of options day.

Firstly, I've had several problems lately with my current commission scale or at least it's bad timing. Having to wait each month until the 15th for my commission is and was killing me.
I had to explain to my boss that if they closed the books at the end of the month and the company had not paid my commission until the last day of the month or the beginning of the next then I would have to wait another month for my money. I think she understood.
The other problem was my current book, it's not enough.
I feel frozen when I try to grow it just because it takes absoultely months to get any money out of it. If you have to wait two months past the effective date to get the money then your always working for a future you might not see.
The other issue is my own personal healthcare costs, it's close to $700 for just me! It's hard for her to justify paying that plus commission when I can't get my own stuff going. So I suggested that she lay me off and I get unemployment and then I would qualify for Medicaid. But after some research I found out that I'm not eligible because I own a home. They think you can simply sell your house. Funny.
So the other option is that they pay me more, no word on that but it's not likely.
In further discussions with my sister I found another slightly sticky solution I'll not name.

I refuse to let the current economic situation I'm in and others to get me down.

So after all this discussion, my boss said she'll get back to me. I'll have to inform her that the Medicaid option isn't available to me. Perhaps my sticky solution may save the day.

I'd like to keep working and do it from home if possible. I think I could cold call and send out quotes pretty effectively from here. But it's silly to spend hours on end working at something that doesn't pay any of my bills.

It's funny that I love what I do and I refuse to think that I will be anything but good at this.

So I should have some answers to my questions--tomorrow.

Okay on a none whiney tone...

My car dealership deal is still going and going. After reworking this deal 50 times we finally have a decent rate and every salesman is balking. So my boss and I will be over there on Friday after their sales meeting which we've been warned is gonna be kinda scary.
So you finally get an employer to agree to pay a good amount for a good plan and now it's gonna go to hell cause of the negative attitudes. I think if I work with my boss on this on Friday morning we'll be able to figure it out. I want this over.