Home today...

Finally got the sign off on my small two person group that I got from another agent who'll share the commission with. I'm still not sure if he is going to remain with the agency but I do hope he will because he's at least working.

It's been a stressful day, my poor niece's car was leaking fuel from the gas intake but we managed to get it home. It may have simply been an overfilled gas tank. The car is a nightmare with everything wrong with it. My hope is that eventually we will be able to replace it with something slightly updated.

After being turned down for a credit card I decided to go ahead and ask my sister to pay off several of my medical bills. I have no idea when I will be able to pay her back but I couldn't deal with being in collections. I feel like I have done at least this much for her and it's nice to have her pay me back. But it's hard for her after suffering for so long with no credit at all to have her credit suddenly get sucked away. I will do everything I can to make that change.

Last stressful thing was my ex, I had tried to call him this morning to see how he was doing but he didn't answer. So then I called tonight close to sun down and found out he'd picked up his meds but had no food in his place. I rushed over and bought him some food to tide him over until he is paid. I don't know what more to do for him. I'm cash poor and credit poor but I used the last few dollars I had to pay for some frozen dinners and some cranberry juice.
I don't know what to do with him. I made him some soup before I left and cried useless tears. I may have even said I loved him but I don't think it was true. What do you say to someone who is so clearly in bad shape?
My sisters complaint is that I have compassion for him but he doesn't return it. I can only counter with that compassion is not something that you can expect to be returned. All I can really do is do what I can for those who need me and hope that I can sleep at night. Now I know he's fed, I can sleep.

My son is asleep next to me, he didn't nap today and he's passed out with a bottle in his mouth. I'm waiting for my dinner and then I will follow him.

I am so glad this day is nearly over.