This was the first day I almost felt like my old self. In the morning I got up and did stuff, mostly laundry and working on my closet. I'm scared of my weight right now, I've lost very little weight and I was hoping to be down more than 15 pounds by now. I don't want to have to go buy a new wardrobe but if I can't get within 20 pounds of my goal weight then I'll have to go get some stuff.
'A' is growing and growing, he sleeps, eats and poop's. I'm in love with him of course but until they really understand what's going on it's kinda boring. I will be back at work and it seems like that moment when they become interesting passes me by.
My two year old is adjusting and it was kinda nice to send him to his father this weekend because I know he'll get the individual attention he needs and deserves. I just love him so much that when he's with his dad I feel like my arm is missing. I don't know if I'll ever be able to give 'A' up to his dad for visits, it's just too hard.
I have mediatation next week, my ex and I haven't discussed anything I think it will be a stalemate. I'm able to live with our current arrangement but he wants equal time and that would be a nightmare to pull together.
I'm hoping this will work out.
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